Sunday, January 23, 2011

Keeping up with Aubri

Folks, we have a walker!  Aubri started walking with a walking toy sometime in December and shortly after that she took steps on her own.  I was so giddy.  I don't even use the word giddy but i just cant think of another word that could possibly explain my excitement.  Every day she does something new and my heart smiles.

So here is the run down of all things new:

Has 9 teeth and 3 more on the way
eats with a fork!
drinks from a regular cup with or without a straw
stack a few blocks(only because she LOVES to knock em down)
climbs up on the couch
can say -mom, dad, up, stop, block, bye, more, Da(for diaper), and sock
shakes her head "no"
waves bye
imitates talking on the phone
tries to put on her socks and shoes and brush her hair
points to communicate needs

My little bean is still a tiny little sprout weighing in at only 19 3/4lbs and measuring 31in.  In DS world she is a giant :)

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The girl who cried wolf

Saying my daughter is a drama queen is a HUGE understatement.  I really don't know where she gets all her girl-y-ness from.  Me=Tomboy  Her= Miss Priss.  I may have once believed that i was born a boy had it not been for my girl bits.  My daughter, on the other hand, was born with lace and bows.  Seriously that is how girly she is.  Anyway......where was i going with this.  Oh, I remember.  Today my little princess was not ready to "rise and shine".  Apparently she didn't get her required beauty rest.  Quick like a fox she devised a plan.  "Mommy my belly hurts and i feel all dizzy".  So i let my princess go back to bed.  Ha, Foolish me.  Now i'm all worried that bird flu is about to infect my household.  I begin thinking about all the germy surfaces i need to sanitize before the sun goes down.  Just as i'm about to Hulk out on those germs my princess comes downstairs.  "mom can you make me eggs with cheese.....or maybe cereal?"  What the Fark?!  Did i just hear her right?  My kids NEVER eat when they have sick little bellies, NEVER!  She noticed the "what the fark" look on my face and flashes me one of her sly little grimaces.  I almost come unglued.  She is so lucky that we had an appointment at  10:45 or she would have been sitting in class within a minute of her gourmet breakfast request.  Next time she whines about her belly i'm sending her to school.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

just me

Oh, I know I have been neglecting my blog, I'm sorry. Our Johnson clam has had a busy summer and now we are gearing up for back-to-school madness. I'm not really going to update you all on the summer because honestly my memory is not that great and seriously my camera broke. Losing my mind is something I don't intentionally do, it just sort of happens. I MUST have lost my mind when I left my camera within reach of my little monsters. (they are not really monsters, they just sound more animated when i call them that.) Well one of the Johnson Three got a hold of my camera and POOF, roto! So I will amuse you all with my latest gripe.

Don't get me wrong children are a blessing but, really, do they need to leave me with all this proof of motherhood?! I have been cursed with my Mothers genes. No, not mom pants.....really, really bad elastin(not sure of spelling on this one). Carey, my nephews mom refers to this as F.O.P.A(fat over panty area). Mine is soooo much worse than that. I like to call that area S.K.I.N F.L.A.P(some kinda irritating nonsense flapping lazily above pantyline). To anyone who watches Kate plus8, remember her showing what her stomach looked like before surgery, I have that! Whats not fair about that? Kate had six babies growing in her uterus and I only had ONE! I have been thinking about getting a tummy tuck. Why must they be so darn expensive and why cant insurance cover it? I really think that this is a medical necessity. Do you think it would be unethical for me to fund-raise for it? I could hold car washes, wrist band sales, pop can drives, and maybe a penny drive. Who am I kidding? I know that in the end I will scrimp and save. of you know a plastic surgeon who would like to hook me up? Until then I will just have to keep tucking in the S.K.I.N F.L.A.P.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Time to celebrate!

We celebrated Aubrielles 1st Birthday this weekend! Boy have we come a long way. Last year there was not much celebrating as we were taking in her diagnosis. We also celebrated the little things that come with having a baby with Down Syndrome. Aubrielle is transitioning much better. What this means is that she can now move from tummy to knees to standing or from tummy to sitting. She does it with so much confidence I can't help but laugh. She's no where close to walking, like typical babies but, I am okay with it. Soon enough she will crawl on her hands and knees(not there yet)and move on to walking. This weekend we celebrated life, her life.

Thursday, June 3, 2010


May 21st I lost my job of 12 years. Well, I didn't exactly lose it, I know where it is, it just didn't want me anymore. This is the second time I prayed to God and asked for something and got something similar in return. The first time was when I prayed for a third child. I got one, just not exactly how I imagined, this one had unique genes. The second time I was just casually asking God for the summer off and POOF, I got it. Now I know I must be very specific in my requests, God has a sense of humor. I'm not quite sure how to adjust to being a SAHM. I always thought I would be a career mom. Needing the mental challenge of work, craving a fast pace, and wanting to succeed. How do I measure all that with the work I do for my family? So, if anyone has any suggestions please....please voice them.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Getting the news

I have decided to share Aubrielles arrival and the very unexpected diagnosis that followed. Most of what I am about to share I have not shared with anyone before so, please be kind. I have gone through my own personal journey and I feel the only way to evolve is to be honest and share.

June 4th I had a routine OB visit, I was 38 weeks along in my pregnancy. My OB stripped my membranes to get things moving and jokingly told me she was available until 2pm. I was already on leave of absence from work so I spent the rest of the day running errands with the family. Around 2pm my contractions were about 12 min. apart. I wanted to keep moving to make sure my labor kept progressing. I finally decided to get ready to go to the hospital around 5pm. My contractions were getting stronger and closer together. This would be the first time I would not have to endure an induction, they suck! Well, my labor stalled. I was forced to walk around the hospital for the next 6 hours. My nurses kept checking on me and finally, after what seemed like forever, the nurse "accidentally" ruptured my bag of waters. My labor was in full force and in two hours I was ready to deliver my daughter. I remember how calm everything was just before she arrived. Maybe that was a sign. All I know is that I have never been that calm. I could sense by the look on my husbands face that something was wrong. I looked at my baby and I knew, I just didn't want to believe it. After the nurse and the Dr cleaned up they left us alone. My husband whispered "does she look different?" I kept trying to convince myself otherwise. None of the hospital staff said anything to us about their suspicions but the eerie feeling we felt would not go away. I knew something was wrong. I didn't even call my family to announce my daughters arrival. My dad knew something wasn't right so he drove to the hospital to check on me. Just before my dad arrived the pediatrician walked into my room and removed the earth from beneath me. With a very somber face she announced everyones suspicions. "I believe your daughter has Down Syndrome". I know she continued to talk but, the room was spinning, my dad just walked in the door, and I just held him tight and sobbed. I sobbed from deep within my soul. I never heard a cry like the cry I had that day. I cried everyday for at least a month. I really don't know how to describe the feelings I had. All I know is that I felt that like my perfect baby, the one I carried for 9 months, the one that I knew, was taken from me. In her place was a baby I did not know. I was angry and sad. I didn't know how to grieve for my baby and learn to love the baby that took her place. I know everyone was trying to be as supportive as anyone could be but, the words they spoke never made me feel better. I am angry about the distance I put between my daughter and I the first month. I could not bond with her. My husband was able to deal with her diagnosis much quicker than me and he had some anger because he could not understand why it was taking me so long. He would look at me and scoop our baby up and cuddle her because I could not. I have tears streaming down my face as I write this, the pain is still with me. After I left the hospital I made excuses so I didn't have to pick up my daughters birth announcements. I guess deep down I felt if I had them my nightmare would become my reality. I eventually was able to make it through the day with out such an extreme range of emotions. I thought I was ready to heal. When you have typical children no one hands you a book with all the possible terrible things that could end your child's life. When you have a child with Down Syndrome this is exactly what they do. As if your not already overwhelmed. I went back to work after 3 months and I thought that I was dealing with my new reality just fine. Sometime in October work began to be more stressful. I remember October 6th i could not stop crying at work. I called my husband and he said "it's okay, you'll get past it." I knew that without help, I wouldn't. I went to see my doctor and he put me on medication for depression. I have learned much about who I am and who I want to be. I have a long way to go........I am learning how to open myself up and let others in. I have learned to love my daughter and the gifts she has brought into my life.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Ok, I know I have done some serious slacking on the blog. I really didn't realize how busy I would be with 3 kids and working 40 plus hours. Lets see.......last time I blogged I was getting ready to go back to school and work. That soooo didn't happen......well the school part. Going back to work just made everything more complicated. I thought that I was doing fine considering Aubrielles' diagnosis but, I was wrong. I didn't realize that I was suffering from depression, going back to work just brought out the obvious symptoms. I ended up dropping my classes and began to focus on me. I had to figure out how to lift the dark clouds that surrounded me. It just so happened that my BEST friend was going through some tough times too and she really helped in guiding me through this darkness(thank you Deb). My daughters life has made me question everything around me. I get anxious whenever I take my daughter out in public. I just wonder what people see when they look at her. Do they see the beautiful baby girl I see or do they see Down Syndrome? I want everyone to see the precious little baby I see. I want everyone to see the gift of life she has been given. Aubrielle has changed me forever.

Ok, enough of the heavy stuff.....I want to celebrate the new stuff. Aj graduated to big boy undies! Hold back some cheering, I want to save some so when he finally figures out how to aim his "buddy" we have some cheering left. Aubrielle is scooting all around the house. She still isn't quite sure how to work her legs. She kinda looks like a seal when she moves, it is hilarious. School is out in six weeks and I am kinda sad I won't get to spend the entire summer with my kids. I need to come up with a plan so I can spend more time at home. I'm thinking maybe I should adopt some of Dave Ramsey point of views.

I have a special request to anyone who may follow my blog, please pray for calm and peace for those who may need it tomorrow.